One Stress Management Strategy: Question Your Perception

Stress abounds in our lives. We face constant demands to adapt to and cope with situations and changes in our environments at large and close to home. 

When stress shows it’s menacing face, you might start out strong in mind, body and spirit. You may soak it up and let it fuel you to wake up and press on.

But, persistent calls on your mind and body may break your spirit and leave you tired and vulnerable. 

When a threatening event occurs, stress commands you to draw forth coping skills and to respond physically, psychologically and emotionally. Your body sends a signal to your brain that triggers protection mode.

The stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol are released. Your blood pressure rises as well as your instincts, physical strength, and other survival mechanisms. 

And you know what decreases in your mind and body, don’t you? Your immune system, logic, memory and your ability to concentrate, think intelligently, and perform. 

Remember that time someone caught you off guard, lured you into a heated argument, and you couldn’t think of a fitting response and either spatted off inappropriate blurbs or stormed away in protest, then later your thoughts magically cohered into a perfectly logical response, too late for anyone to be interested? 

Maybe that was just me. But I’m sure you can think of another incident when stress hijacked your body and mind and magnified your torment.

Stress helps sometimes; it can save your life. You can’t and don’t want to eliminate it completely. However I know you want to minimize it and manage it, just like I do. 

So, I’m sharing one strategy to help you minimize stress in your life.

The author of this article written by the National Institute of Health, found that along with environmental factors, our own assessments, perceptions, and reactions can make us highly susceptible to stress.

The strategy I’m sharing focuses on this reactivity and how you can better cope with stress by questioning your perceptions.

Question Your Perception to Better Manage Stress

Your point of view is a choice. 

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”  

Some of us are more naturally inclined to see things positively, optimistically or with some hope. Some of us have to work harder at it, but it is possible to lean your perceptions toward life.

Here are three questions to ask yourself when, before or after you feel stressed:

Are you driving yourself into distress?

How do you frame situations you face? Do you merely glance at the facts?

Do you allow your imagination to run wild?

I once worked in a highly public position, and whenever I was asked to meet with someone my nerves shot on fire. Heat flushed my face, my body tensed, sometimes I fretted for days. 

My position including leading, guiding, teaching, organizing, supporting, assessing, planning, helping, and answering lots and lots of questions. People wanted to talk to me for numerous reasons, mostly pleasant or neutral, but sometimes not. Even if these negative encounters weren’t about me, I took them personally as the representative of the institution.

Any time I received a notice of a meeting I cringed and anticipated the worst. I let my insecurity and perfectionism paralyze me.

But you know what? I was the only one where I worked, in the meetings I attended, in my entire life who expected perfection from me. I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone thinking badly about me or anything I was a part of, and I worked myself into distress. Distress that was only met with an actual negative encounter about 2% of the time. 

So much unnecessary stress.

Don’t do the same. 

I learned to see my humanness as I’ve always accepted in others. 

More generally, I learned to recognize when I’m building a nightmare and the monsters may not, most likely will not exist.

Learn to recognize when you are conjuring your own nightmare.

Then ask….

Is there another way to look at the situation?

I’m sure you can think of an alternate explanation, understanding, or possible outcome. Still you might be stuck in your negative interpretation.

You know people see things in different ways, so you know you can see differently, too. Allow yourself to drop the protective perspective, just for a moment, and consider other possibilities and viewpoints.

Could a job loss be an opportunity instead of a dead end? 

Could a deserved reprimand be a chance to improve and really shine instead of a burst to your ego?

Could the fight with your spouse provide an opportunity to draw you closer as a team to tackle a problem instead of paint the letters of d-i-v-o-r-c-e in your head? 

Could the cake that didn’t rise go into a food processor and become parfait topping?

Could the traffic jam or slow grocery line give you time to read another one of my blog posts? 😉

Open your mind and brainstorm. 

Take a deep breath and pretend to step back and use a different eye. (There’s actually some science behind viewing life through ‘the other mind’s eye’, but that’s for another post.)

Next, ask….

Are you holding on to perceptions of others from your past?

You learned a long time ago what life is like. 

Did you learn that life is full of ups and downs and you can handle anything that happens? Did you learn that people are mostly good and can be trusted and depended upon?

Or, were you taught that life is, and people are sneaky, and you should be on guard at all times and prepared for the worst?

And what realities have you discovered yourself? What results have you found contradictory to what was drilled to you when you were younger?

How do you view life and people differently now? How do you let old perceptions cloud your current visions and keep you stuck?

What if you took the time to be on guard and prepared for how your negative thoughts lead you astray? What if you trusted your own intuition?

You don’t have to believe, feel or fear the same things your parents did. You can love your family and look at life through different lenses. If someone in your past drilled negativity and pessimism into your brain, you can release it.

Take charge. Take responsibility for yourself and your wellbeing. You can accept or reject anything—thoughts shared with you, or your own thoughts that arise.

This reigns true with the people in your present life as well.

Our minds are powerful. We have to be careful what we allow in because that is how we create our lives and experiences. 

What will you choose?

Will you seek to build and hold beautiful images in your mind? Or nightmares?

How was this helpful? Let me know in the comments. Or, share another sure-fire strategy for managing stress.

Looking for more strategies to manage stress? Click to read one of these:

Laid Back Mindfulness and Meditation: Informal Strategies to Quiet Your Mind and Calm Your Body

Setting ANCHOR: A Method to Manage Reactivity and Mindset in the Midst of Chaos and Uncertainty

From Chaos to Calm